Labor Rant

With my due date 10 weeks away, I’ve obviously been thinking a bit about labor and delivery.  Of all the things that can go wrong, the scary stuff, my hopes and our fears.  But I’m healthy, the baby is healthy, I’m having a good pregnancy and there is no reason to plan for any medical interventions.  They are there if necessary, but given my history with M there is little reason to believe I will need them.

So, yesterday I got a bit riled up when not one but 2 birth-related things surfaced on my interwebs.  The first was a link to this People Magazine article about Gisele Bundchen’s birth experience and the reaction was to lash out at her for being awful. I’m the first to admit it’s totally over the top to believe that she felt no pain.  But to assume she’s a liar-McLiarface because she had a low pain and easy birth experience? I just don’t understand.  I did much of my labor in the water with M and, as Mark can attest, while in the tub my pain level went way down.  It’s not much of a jump for me to see how a water birth would have been pretty low pain for Gisele. (Okay, okay I will call her a Liarface on her quote that says she does her own dishes – riiiight).

Then later in the day an old high school friend posed on Facebook asking other mothers about birthing classes. Within just a manner of minutes, there were a dozen comments all basically chanting “Forget the classes, get the epidural! Get it before your water breaks! All you need to know is E-P-I-D-U-R-A-L!”  So I posted the following:
“…And you don’t need an epidural, I opted to try without one (always having the option to get one if I wanted) and found I didn’t need/want it. Everyone’s different and you never know what you can handle until you’re there.”
And of course that was followed by a chorus of “you must be superwoman!” and “you’re a superstar for trying” and the like. Those comments, while said with good intentions drive me nuts because I just know that while they are saying it they are thinking “what a crunchy-granola-eating-hemp-wearing hippie freak”. I’m not a superwoman or a hippie – I’m just a woman who trusted the medical staff with whom I had worked with for 7 months and my own body to do what needed to be done and react to things as they happened, not before they happened.

Was my labor with M any less truthful or real or gritty because I was able to do it without any medication? Is it less meaningful because I didn’t have any intervention or last minute scares that I could share with everyone in the months after her birth? Why should I feel like I have to whisper that I enjoyed her birth and it really didn’t hurt all that much?

I went into having M with my eyes wide open and I know I was lucky in that it went so well.  I knew the risks and possibilities involved, but I also knew that it was an experience I had never had before so there was no medical reason for me to take measures to prevent something that we weren’t sure would even happen (i.e. intolerable pain). I don’t get up every morning and take a Tylenol “just in case” I get a headache later, why would I take medication in at the start of labor before I knew how bad the pain was?

Look, I totally understand that everyone has their own tolerance for pain and has their own medical history and assorted fears/issues they bring with them to a labor ward.  But I really and truly don’t understand the condescending backlash and accusations of being a liar against woman who admit that 1) labor wasn’t all that hard/painful for them or 2) was actually kind of wonderful and not at all as scary and harsh as they had anticipated? And yes, asserting that someone is a “superwoman” or saying “I could never do that” is condescending to all involved.  How do you know you could never do it until you tried?

Just so we are all clear I am far from an earth-mama hippie. Yes, I had a medication-free birth with M by choice/luck/effort/education and hope to do the same again.  I also have eaten sushi, soft cheese and had an occasional glass of wine while prego and sometimes let the TV babysit the girl.  Yes, we use cloth diapers, breastfeed, use non-toxic cleaning products and recycle.  But I will also drive to the grocery store 3 blocks away instead of walk if it’s cold or I’m tired. I also use probably highly toxic extra-strength deodorant, not a rock, and hate the smell of patchouli.

By kakaty on 03 February 2010 / 7 Comments

Tagged Prego, general musings

Things I’m Digging Right Now

Gah – It’s been over a week since my last post…what can I say other then I’m a bad blogger.  I seem to only have the patience for 140 characters right now so follow me over on Twitter if you really feel the need to know what I’m thinking right now.

That said, there are some things rattling around in my head lately, mostly little things in life that make me smile.  Not the biggies like my husband or the hysterical kid M is turning into.  Little things, product things that I have recently discovered.  These might be old-news to some but here are some items I’m loving right now:

Charlie’s Soap. I cloth diapered M and plan to do the same with the little man baking in my belly. [Yes, I plan to cloth diaper the baby which I know makes me a dirty liberal hippy. I don’t care; its way, way cheaper then disposables and we’ll end up using a mix of the two like we did for M. Plus cloths are cute and don’t have Elmo all over them.] However, you have to be choosy when picking detergents for cloths because so many leave a residue and then the diapers leak. I liked the brand we used for M but didn’t like that I can’t find it locally and shipping costs are killer.

Enter Charlie’s Soap… I’m in love with this stuff. We’ve only used a couple of weeks and of course no dirty diapers yet but I think I’m a convert. You use only a tablespoon for an entire load, it rinses totally out of clothes and it just smells clean – no fragrance or perfumes. I’ve also noticed that some of our older tshirts that were kinda stinky under the arms now have no stink after a couple of washes. No enzymes or brighteners which can bother sensitive skin and cause diaper rash in cloth babies, either.

I ordered directly from the company in North Carolina – everything is made in the US and they have other non-toxic, biodegradable cleaning products, too. I got a kit that also had the all-purpose cleaner which I’m also digging. I usually just use vinegar and water, but this is doing awesome on grease in the kitchen.  So far I highly recommend it!

Eucerin Calming Body Wash Daily Shower Oil.  Winter is always hard on my skin.  We live in an old house with radiators so humidity in the air is nonexistent.  Plus, I’m starting to get the tight, itchy pregnancy belly with is annoying.  I picked this stuff up at Target on a whim and I love it!  I thought it might be too oily but it’s perfect.  It’s not overly scented and my skin feels so much better since I started using it.

Chia Seeds (salba).  I mentioned these when I talked about my new morning smoothie ritual but now that I’ve been using them for a few weeks I want to gush about them a little.  They have 6 times more calcium than whole milk, 3 times more iron than spinach, the potassium content of 1.5 large bananas, 15 times more magnesium than broccoli, as much vitamin C as 7 oranges, and 3 times the antioxidant capacity of blueberries. On top of that, salba contains natural folate, B vitamins, zinc, selenium, and vitamin A and has more protein than soy.  Here’s the bonus – since they absorb so much liquid, when in the stomach they slow down digestion which stabilizes blood sugar and makes you feel full longer.  I’ve found that on “smoothie mornings” I am not hungry for a solid 5-6 hours after breakfast.  And since ounce for ounce they have the highest dietary fiber content of any plant food they do help with some other pregnancy-related symptoms. (Ahem)

Jon Stewart.  We DVR the Daily Show since it’s on so late and usually watch several episodes at once. Every time we do I find myself not only laughing but shouting “thank you!” at the TV. I don’t care which side of the aisle you are on; Jon Stewart is as funny as he is right.  He calls BS where he sees it in the political world (which is just about everywhere right now) and isn’t afraid to ask the tough questions and challenge his political guests.  He’s the closest thing we have to “fair and balanced” news on TV – which is kind of sad, considering he’s considered a comedian. If you can watch a show without laughing and agreeing with him on at least one topic, I don’t think I want to know you.

How about you? As we head into the deep freeze, gray month known as February what is making you smile?

By kakaty on 02 February 2010 / No Comments

Tagged general musings

Smooth Mornings

I hate vegetables.  There I said it.  I’m 32 years old and I don’t eat anywhere close to the daily recommended 3-5 servings.  If I get 3-5 servings a week I’m lucky.
 
I blame this on my mother, who made us kids eat veggies that made us gag.  Broccoli is my main nemesis since she used to drown it in melted Cheeze-Wiz and make us clean our plates.  The Cheeze-Wiz wasn’t the problem – I liked the stuff, but I clearly remember swallowing whole chunks of broccoli with a swig of milk like I was taking a vitamin.  I gagged the entire time. 

I want to like vegetables – I love walking through the farmers market in the summer and lusting after all the fresh, beautiful goodness in the stands. Who can resist the dewy piles of fresh asparagus, green beans, ramps, beets, turnips and squash? But despite several attempts in my adult life to like them, I just don’t. I can do lettuces and fresh spinach, any pepper that’s not green, carrots, tomatoes, and celery.  I don’t mind cauliflower if it’s roasted with olive oil and a fair helping of parmesan.  I might enjoy a spring pea or two, but only when they are in season.  The list pretty much stops there.

So I take multi-vitamin, eat lots of fruit and call it a day. I don’t usually stress over it.  But, being pregnant I’m paying much more attention to what I eat. With M I had a “green smoothie” just about everyday and I had them for breakfast often when I was on Weight Watchers.  This go around I haven’t been that good at making them, especially since I never feel like eating.  (True story! I’m the odd pregnant woman who gets very few cravings and feels like eating is more of a chore then a joy. The only think I want is milk…glasses and glasses of milk).

Inspired by Kyle Roth’s tweets about his family’s new smoothie tradition along with reading this post by Mir I got back into the smoothie swing.  I love green smoothies as you absolutely cannot taste the “green” part at all.  I also love that I can get in a host of daily requirements all in one swoop.  The best part is that M has taken a liking to them as well which means more veggies for her, too!

Here’s my basic formula for my favorite flavor combo:
One whole orange, peeled
One whole banana, peeled
Handful of raw (no sugar) frozen strawberries (about a ¾ cup)
1 serving/scoop vanilla protein powder – I prefer whey
As much fresh, baby spinach as you can stuff in the blender – I would say about 3 big handfuls or 2-3 cups
Some orange juice or water, depending on what you have – to thin to desired consistency

It looks like pond sludge but it’s mighty tasty and packs in 3 servings of fruit and 2 servings of veggies:

If I have it on hand, I’ll also add a healthy dose of flaxseed oil.  If I’m out of the protein powder or if I don’t want it (when the smoothie is a snack rather then a meal) I’ll replace it with a little vanilla extract.  And, after reading Mir’s post I sought out some Chia Seeds (Salba) at Whole Foods – they are in the supplement/wellness area – and have started adding about 2 tablespoons of those as well. 

This makes enough for a large drink for me and a smaller one for M and has become our morning breakfast. It really does keep me satisfied until at least lunch, and it makes me feel so much better about my overall nutrition. Plus, it’s less than 400 calories, gives me 1/3 of my daily goal of 60-70 grams of protien (when I add the powder) and lots of healthy omega-3 fatty acids.

By kakaty on 25 January 2010 / 2 Comments

Tagged Uncategorized

Tiny Dancer

Dozens of calls, 2 hours of lunch time burned, 3 trips to the Capezio Store and we have a little ballerina:

TimidBallerina

For the first 10-15 minutes of the class she stood by herself and refused to move, prefering to just watch the 2 older girls dance from afar (another younger girl wouldn’t even go out on the floor).

Dance_wand

When the teacher brought out the fairy wands, M warmed up to the idea of dancing.  Then the introduction of shakers and little drums sealed the deal.

Dance_scarf

By the time the scarves came out, she was loving it! She can’t wait for her next class.

Thanks to for the comments on my previous post about signing up EARLY and over the summer.  If she likes the rest of these classes we’ll look into something more long-term for next fall.

By Kate on 19 January 2010 / 3 Comments

Tagged magpie

She Wants to Be a Ballerina

For the past 2 months or so M has been obsessed with dancing and anything ballet.  She hones in on ballet books at the library, imitates things she sees on TV, says “I want to be a ballerina when I get older” and knows the French terms for several ballet positions. She’s never been in an organized class of any kind so we thought a preschool ballet class might be fun. Let the search begin…

Our city has a great Rec Department with all kinds of classes and activities so that was the first place to look. I found tons of ballet classes, except all the ones for ages 3-5 are between 10 AM and 1 PM on the weekdays. In fact, every single class offered for preschoolers, be it ballet, hockey or art, is during a weekday. After 5 PM classes don’t begin until age 8! To me this is a big old “F you!” to working parents.  They gladly take income taxes out of each and every paycheck but offer no services for working parents in return.  My taxes pay for this stupid Rec Department – too bad we’ll have to wait another 5 years to use any of its offerings! And for comparison, I checked with 3 other area Rec Departments and every one offers at least one evening or weekend ballet class for preschoolers. Calls to each ended in disappointment as I was told I had to be a resident to enroll M in those classes. The local YMCA and JCC both only offer weekday classes.

So I started looking around elsewhere and here’s a bit of news: dance studios don’t really advertise much, especially on the web. I finally found one that is close to our house and seems to have a good reputation.  I got really excited to see they have a Saturday morning class for 3 & 4 year olds.  But their “sessions” are 22-weeks long which translates into a few hundred dollars in fees! That would mean dance class every Saturday until the end of June.  I called anyway; ready to bite the tuition and commitment bullet only to find that their Saturday class is full and they usually give enrollment preference to families with older kids in their program.  Would I like to be put on a waiting list for next fall? Um, no thanks.

A lunch-time visit to the local dance-supply shop for help has given me some more hope. Another local studio has a Saturday preschool class, but their session started a week ago and they won’t return my several calls.  Here’s a Pro Tip: if your website and answering machine says your hours are 1-7 PM and no one ever answers the calls I make between 1 & 5 then I have no trust in you as a business. Moving on…

There is a Dance & Gymnastics studio in a nearby suburb that holds promise and the draw of a dance + tumbling combo class on Monday nights.  There is also a studio that is holding Saturday classes at a brand new fitness center that just opened very close to our house. And as a final resort – a studio about a half-hour away has a creative dance class on Saturday mornings.  Now…if I can get someone to call me back so I can talk to a real person.

Keep your fingers crossed that one of these places has an opening for our tiny dancer.  Because seeing all the adorable little leotards and skirts at the dance-supply shop just about killed me with cuteness.

Updated 1/13:  Lots of calls later, M is now signed up for classes taught by Remote Dance and held at the new Lifetime Fitness near our house.  Tomorrow night we’ll go get the proper leotard, tights and shoes – lots and lots of pictures to follow!

By Kate on 12 January 2010 / 3 Comments

Tagged Cleveland, magpie

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