M’s Birth Story

I swear this isn’t going to be an all-birth/pregnancy-stories-all-the-time blog, but I’ve been revisiting things I wrote in the last weeks of my previous pregnancy and first weeks of being a parent.  It’s what’s on my mind right now, so bare with me as I remember and share some of these stories.

M was due on 9/18.  My midwife, Abby, was a bit concerned about the amount of amniotic fluid (I had too much).  That along with a period of days with no midwife on-call at the hospital and already being dilated several cm prompted me to have my membranes stripped on 9/15 in the hopes of jump starting labor.  We went into the office early on Friday morning for the procedure and came home, hoping to head to the hospital at anytime.  By late afternoon, with not one contraction, we figured it wouldn’t happen.  I returned to work on Monday, trying to work as much as possible in an attempt to extend my maternity leave to the holiday shut down in December.  We returned to the midwife on the afternoon of 9/22 and decided to have my water broken the next day.  An ultrasound said that “Baby D” was just over 8 pounds and the amniotic fluid had reduced to a more normal level.  Abby tried stripping the membranes again, in the hopes of getting things started (it failed, again).

Saturday morning arrived and we went to iHop for a big breakfast.  I was admitted to the hospital very close to our house in Toledo around 8:15 and we were lucky to get the birthing suite with the labor tub as we requested.  We settled in while our nurse, Velma, asked all sorts of questions and took my vitals.  I even requested for the TV to be on so we could watch college football – Michigan vs. Wisconsin (yes, I’m that much of an awesome wife)!

Abby broke my water at 10:15 AM and I was immediately happy this had not happened at home and that I was in a place equipped to deal with the mess.  Mild contractions started within 15 minutes.  I felt better while I was up and about so Mark and I spent a lot of time walking up and down the hallway of the labor and delivery ward, having mild contractions and hoping things would get moving.  Every time I laid back down, contractions stopped.  Around 12:30 I laid down and rolled to my right side and I was struck with severe light headed-ness and nausea.  Mark helped me to the bathroom and I got sick and felt better, but realized I was very hungry.  I had some crackers, jell-o and ginger ale to get my blood sugar back up.  After I was feeling better, Velma filled the tub and I got in.  It was very relaxing and the contractions, which had been getting stronger, felt so much easier but came faster in the warm water.  After about 20 minutes in the warm water, I got the urge to push and things got moving.

Again, lying down on my back felt uncomfortable and stopped the contractions, so Mark helped support me as I semi-squatted and pushed while standing.  Abby suggested that I labor on my knees and adjusted the bed so I could kneel on the end and support my upper body on the top of the bed.  I was an odd position, but it worked very well for me.  Contractions started coming faster and the pushing, while it hurt, was not nearly as bad as I expected.  Mark was great, getting me water when I needed it, keeping a cold washcloth on my neck and encouraging me to keep going.  Abby was great, explaining to me what was happening and what I needed to do.  After about 30 minutes, Baby D started to crown and I lost my will to go drug-free, saying “I can’t do this” and  “This needs to be over”.  The pain was intense, but between contractions was all calm.  Abby, Velma & Mark were all very positive and encouraging as I proceeded.  Abby worked me through the crowing and I felt the head come out.  Two pushes later and I heard Mark say “it’s a girl!”.  It was 3:03 PM.  I was shaking and disoriented as they placed M on the bed between my arms.  I was scared to hold her as my hands were shaking and my arms were half-asleep from leaning on them.  Mark helped wipe her down and he cut the cord.  Velma and Mark took her to the warming table while Abby helped my turn over and lie down.  I started shaking again and Velma brought me M.  I was overwhelmed – tired and excited all at once.  I couldn’t believe I had just birthed this little baby, all without any drugs and it happened so fast.  It all seemed a blur.

All of a sudden I felt the need to push again and out came the placenta.  Velma and Mark took M to weigh her while Abby gave me three stitches. They brought me M and I tried nursing but she wouldn’t latch on.  She finally did but only stayed on for a short time.   Mark, M and I hung out for awhile while we continued to try to nurse.  Mark made phone calls to family and friends announcing the news and we just kept staring at this tiny baby, who weighed in at 7 lbs 1 oz.

About an hour and a half after the birth M and I were wheeled down to the postpartum rooms.  M went to the nursery with Mark for her first bath and I went to the room.  I settled into the room, took a shower and tuned into the OSU game while the nurse brought me dinner.  Mark came back and M followed about 30 minutes later, after being under the warmer post-bath.

My parents, who were at a BGSU football game, came to meet their granddaughter and stayed for a short time.  That night, Mark stayed at the hospital with me after running home to let Mac out.  Although I had been adamant pre-birth that M stay in my room all night, I finally did have a nurse take her down to the nursery since every tiny move and noise she made kept me awake.  Other then being a little tired I was fine – no pain or anything and M became a champion nurser in no time.  My sister and brother visited the next day and we all just sat around the small hospital room chatting and staring at M.  I insisted Mark go home that night so he would get one last night of good sleep while I again sent M to the nursery and a nurse brought her to me for feedings.

The next morning, exactly 48 hours after my water was broken we arrived home as a family of 3.

By kakaty on 18 February 2010

Prego, magpie

Labor Rant

With my due date 10 weeks away, I’ve obviously been thinking a bit about labor and delivery.  Of all the things that can go wrong, the scary stuff, my hopes and our fears.  But I’m healthy, the baby is healthy, I’m having a good pregnancy and there is no reason to plan for any medical interventions.  They are there if necessary, but given my history with M there is little reason to believe I will need them.

So, yesterday I got a bit riled up when not one but 2 birth-related things surfaced on my interwebs.  The first was a link to this People Magazine article about Gisele Bundchen’s birth experience and the reaction was to lash out at her for being awful. I’m the first to admit it’s totally over the top to believe that she felt no pain.  But to assume she’s a liar-McLiarface because she had a low pain and easy birth experience? I just don’t understand.  I did much of my labor in the water with M and, as Mark can attest, while in the tub my pain level went way down.  It’s not much of a jump for me to see how a water birth would have been pretty low pain for Gisele. (Okay, okay I will call her a Liarface on her quote that says she does her own dishes – riiiight).

Then later in the day an old high school friend posed on Facebook asking other mothers about birthing classes. Within just a manner of minutes, there were a dozen comments all basically chanting “Forget the classes, get the epidural! Get it before your water breaks! All you need to know is E-P-I-D-U-R-A-L!”  So I posted the following:
“…And you don’t need an epidural, I opted to try without one (always having the option to get one if I wanted) and found I didn’t need/want it. Everyone’s different and you never know what you can handle until you’re there.”
And of course that was followed by a chorus of “you must be superwoman!” and “you’re a superstar for trying” and the like. Those comments, while said with good intentions drive me nuts because I just know that while they are saying it they are thinking “what a crunchy-granola-eating-hemp-wearing hippie freak”. I’m not a superwoman or a hippie – I’m just a woman who trusted the medical staff with whom I had worked with for 7 months and my own body to do what needed to be done and react to things as they happened, not before they happened.

Was my labor with M any less truthful or real or gritty because I was able to do it without any medication? Is it less meaningful because I didn’t have any intervention or last minute scares that I could share with everyone in the months after her birth? Why should I feel like I have to whisper that I enjoyed her birth and it really didn’t hurt all that much?

I went into having M with my eyes wide open and I know I was lucky in that it went so well.  I knew the risks and possibilities involved, but I also knew that it was an experience I had never had before so there was no medical reason for me to take measures to prevent something that we weren’t sure would even happen (i.e. intolerable pain). I don’t get up every morning and take a Tylenol “just in case” I get a headache later, why would I take medication in at the start of labor before I knew how bad the pain was?

Look, I totally understand that everyone has their own tolerance for pain and has their own medical history and assorted fears/issues they bring with them to a labor ward.  But I really and truly don’t understand the condescending backlash and accusations of being a liar against woman who admit that 1) labor wasn’t all that hard/painful for them or 2) was actually kind of wonderful and not at all as scary and harsh as they had anticipated? And yes, asserting that someone is a “superwoman” or saying “I could never do that” is condescending to all involved.  How do you know you could never do it until you tried?

Just so we are all clear I am far from an earth-mama hippie. Yes, I had a medication-free birth with M by choice/luck/effort/education and hope to do the same again.  I also have eaten sushi, soft cheese and had an occasional glass of wine while prego and sometimes let the TV babysit the girl.  Yes, we use cloth diapers, breastfeed, use non-toxic cleaning products and recycle.  But I will also drive to the grocery store 3 blocks away instead of walk if it’s cold or I’m tired. I also use probably highly toxic extra-strength deodorant, not a rock, and hate the smell of patchouli.

By kakaty on 03 February 2010

Prego, general musings

Looking Ahead

There is no doubt that 2010 is going to be life altering in many ways. The arrival of baby 2.0 will make sure of that. But right now, I’m having a hard time looking even that far into the future. Just taking a look at my/our January calendar is making me tired – excited but tired.

We will be heading to Disney on Ice in just over a week and I predict M will loose her mind when she sees princesses! and ice skating! together in one show. Then my mom is coming up for the long (for her, not schmucks like me who have to work) MLK weekend to help paint the baby’s room (and maybe M’s room, too – if we hustle) and this will make it official – our guest room will become the baby’s room and then there is no denying the impending arrival.

After that comes a jam-packed week of a Cavs game followed by yet another 36-hour trip to Las Vegas for work. I don’t mean to sound whiney but these biannual trips lost their luster after the 2nd one – now they are just exhausting. It’s nice to go to a warmer place even for a few days, but I really do find Vegas kind of gross and dirty. The hotels are nice, but I’m not a big gambler and when you’re only in town for about 27 hours which is book-ended by 4 ½ hour flights it gets old really fast. And Vegas while pregnant? Yippee! At least I will get to see my college friend who is due with her first baby just a few weeks before I am.

Looking past January my eyes go out of focus as all I see are days whipping past at break-neck speed until mid-April and my due date. February and March are hectic times at work and are the dreaded never-ending grey winter months of NE Ohio where you feel like you are doomed to never see the sun again.

And all I can think about is “OMG, are we really doing this again? What were we thinking?” There are 3 things that my mind is dwelling on at the moment: 1) I will never sleep again after 04.2010 and this makes me very grumpy. 2) The great fear of my water breaking in public has returned – this gets me more freaked out then any other part of the birth process. And 3) I had better get a private hospital room. If I have to share a post-partum room I’m going to be livid.

So there you have it – my excitement and fears for 2010. Well, the first quarter of 2010 anyway. The rest of the year is up in the air.

By Kate on 29 December 2009

Prego, general musings, magpie

I'm Not Even Drinking

All the food yesterday must have done something to my brain.  Either that or the “pregnancy brain” is kicking into high gear already.  My 2 most recent tweets:

Screen shot 2009-11-27 at 9.51.09 PM

And, 90 minutes later…

Screen shot 2009-11-27 at 9.51.50 PM

Oops! Let’s just hope that tomorrow night isn’t a repeat of tonight! And if you are in downtown Cleveland tomorrow night and see a pink-coat-&-boot-clad, blue-eyed 3 year old tantruming, please have pity.

By Kate on 27 November 2009

Cleveland, Prego, magpie

XY

I announced it on Twitter & Facebook but forgot to mention it here.  Last week we decided to find out the gender of our baby and it’s a boy!

Ultrasound_webI’ll spare him from displaying his graphic showing of his boy-ness on the internet, but trust me…there is no mistaking that this kid is a boy.

We are, of course, very excited about all of this.  The pink-princess levels in this house could use a bit of balance with some trucks and dinosaurs (not that M doesn’t play with that stuff, too – but 7 times out of 10 the call of the Disney Princesses wins out).  I’m lucky that we didn’t find out the gender with M so we have loads of unisex newborn clothes and my sister saved me a bunch of her son’s baby clothes, so up to at least 6 months we are set.

But I will be totally honest and admit to something that has gotten me very odd looks the few times I’ve mentioned it out loud.  It’s something that I thought about years ago when several of my friends were having boys.  I just can’t get over the strange, alien, biological fact that right now my body is growing a pen1s.  Think about that for a minute.  Pregnancy is weird enough as it is, but add to everything else the fact that there is something growing inside me that is against every one of my own chromosomes and it’s downright bizarre.  Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy and excited to be having a boy, but….yea – right now the whole pen1s thing is freaking me out just a little.

By Kate on 16 November 2009

Prego